September 20th, 2011

Why am I so cranky?

Oh yeah, I will be 45 in a couple of months, I need to lose 15 pounds, need to wear glasses full-time again, can’t decide what to do with my hair, have wrinkles, so on and so on…

I normally am not so stuck in a rut like this, but when the days get shorter and I get less sunlight, I go into a funk for a bit. Things will adjust, but for now, I am a wee bit on the crabby side. 

So how do I cheer myself up? 

1. Take the sweet doggie for a walk- that always works!

2. I need a dress for a special event coming up- hate dress shopping, but you know I will need shoes and have to make jewelry to wear with said dress and shoes!

3. Hammer the crap out of something- that is going to happen when I finish typing this!

4. Try styling my hair a different way- no, not a haircut, just an experiment…

5. Remember, that even though I may have rough, twisty days with pain or just feel down, God has a great plan for me and my life!

I feel better already!

September 14th, 2011

The object of my affection :)

Is this a cute pup or what? The best thing, she has made me get off my lazy arse and take her for a walk! It may be a stagger or a limp some days, but we go!

So sad that my fave thing to do makes her miserable- the second I pick up the hammer, she leaves the room!

August 26th, 2011

What’s my problem?

I have read more than once about the fear of success; it must be real. I have done better with , , than ever, enjoy teaching and making such fun custom listings, have 3 great kids and a fantastic husband. On top of all that, I get to do what I love all day if I want! Why then, have I fallen into the trap of addictive eating? I don’t know, but it rankles me still that I blew eight years of abstinence from addictive substances to be bingeing, purging and obsessing about food again- bleh! 

Could it be my way of whining about my dystonia? I wonder if that is the core reason. It is progressing and sometimes scares me a bit. Others have it way worse,  I tell myself, but when I have trouble standing up straight or walking, I get freaked out. I am used to the pain, but worry that I am not going to be able to do what I want to do. I know intellectually that all things happen for a reason, and that the world won’t end if I can’t do everything- I have had a decline in physical capability for about 5 years now. Perhaps I am having a pity-party. Food won’t help! So I am going to renew my efforts to abstain from addictive substances- flour, sugar, wheat and caffeine. I will probably feel much better and my head games will stop! Cross your fingers, pray- whatever it is you do :) I appreciate it!

Update- I think putting this down on the interwebs has helped me to be more accountable- at least this week! Eating crap won’t make me feel better- I imagine it is all part of God’s perfect plan for me in my life. I can’t do anything without His Grace!

August 3rd, 2011

Stamping spree!

I have had such fun the past couple of days- I made these hand stamped sterling silver, copper and aluminum guitar picks on Monday and Tuesday. I feel so blessed that my job is to make a person’s vision a reality- what fun!

Now if my new doggie would just not freak out when I get out my hammer…

July 30th, 2011

Starting something…following through!

So I finally started on the muffin tin challenge; I found out about it from twitter friend and amazing Denver-area artist, Erin Fickert-Rowland. Check out her wonderful blog here: http://www.elysianstudiosart.com/ The challenge ended a while ago, but for me, the point is to do it!

You see, my life got in the way; 2 trips, 1 dog and 1 stupid disorder are all excuses for why I didn’t start working on this a while ago. Instead I am just working around these challenges and getting it done as I can! That is pretty amazing, as I usually beat myself up when I don’t follow through. Small victories can be very huge!

In these pictures we have my new doggie, Shotsee, who is exploring the tin as I get ready to snap a photo- she put her snout in the tin right away. I figured she has good taste and made the almost finished bracelet in the 3rd picture due to her guidance!

July 25th, 2011

She’s cute, but high maintenance! 

Here is our new dog, Shotsee; she has lived with us a week and a half. She is one of the reasons I haven’t said hello in a while. She is 5 years old and is a min-pin; she was adopted from my aunt as she was moving. We also did a trip to Dallas and I am playing catch up. Two trips in the span of a month! Amazing for us!

Here’s to creating without my doggie becoming a nervous wreck. She hides under a blanket in the next room while I hammer, poor girl! Here are two pieces she tolerated…

July 11th, 2011
I needed to see this today. 

Usually, I try to find things to be thankful for each day; today; however, I woke up grumbling. My back hurts and it was hard to get out of bed. The little bad guy on my shoulder starts to tell me to feel sorry for myself, who does God think he is to make you have so many illnesses, so much pain. Stop!
I will not feed into that crap! I am so blessed! I have a wonderful, loving, supportive husband, three terrific kids and I get to do what I love every day; sometimes even getting paid for it! Many others with dystonia have it a lot worse than me. I will not buy into whining and pity parties!
Whew! That feels better! Time to take an Aleve and go about my day as best as I can… 

I needed to see this today. 

Usually, I try to find things to be thankful for each day; today; however, I woke up grumbling. My back hurts and it was hard to get out of bed. The little bad guy on my shoulder starts to tell me to feel sorry for myself, who does God think he is to make you have so many illnesses, so much pain. Stop!

I will not feed into that crap! I am so blessed! I have a wonderful, loving, supportive husband, three terrific kids and I get to do what I love every day; sometimes even getting paid for it! Many others with dystonia have it a lot worse than me. I will not buy into whining and pity parties!

Whew! That feels better! Time to take an Aleve and go about my day as best as I can… 

(Source: graysonwasgroovy, via softbeauty)

July 6th, 2011

Late again!

So my dear friend, Erin Fickert-Rowland’s http://www.elysianstudiosart.com/ post on the Muffin Tin Challenge hosted by Heather Powers of Humblebeads got me thinking…

It took some thinking, a trip and a flu bug to get it in my head, but I am going to do the challenge too! It is over, but it will be good. Challenges are not only for prizes, but for the reward of doing something to your satisfaction; something that you would never had attempted without being challenged! See the original challenge post from Heather of Humblebeads;http://artbeadscene.blogspot.com/2011/06/muffin-tin-jewelry-challenge.html

So I have a muffin tin, a boat load of beads, and many art beads/pendants that I have made- lets go! 

I will get started  right now- hopefully the weather will let me take pics of my muffin tin of goodies!

July 5th, 2011

Very late 4th of July post, but I was pondering a bit…

Some dear family friends came over today/yesterday for a BBQ and to see the fireworks display that is just down the way from our house. I was thinking about all the pretty twinkling, the get-together and why we were all together instead of in bed or playing on the computer. I am so grateful to be in a country that was founded on freedom, not just freedom from injustice, but also freedom to practice our faith freely. I am truly thankful to the founders of the US as well as the current military that fight for these freedoms that we really take for granted.

Perhaps I am more pensive about this due to the fact that I was in Washington D.C. just a couple of weekends ago- All of these historic sites and such! Here are some pics. Isn’t my hubby cute? 

Happy Independence Day to you all!

June 27th, 2011

Breathe… something I need to remember to do!

I have been so busy that I haven’t been able to bore you with my wordy posts! My husband and I traveled to Washington D.C. last week to attend the ordination of a dear friend; I can’t believe the silly guy I met 10 years ago is now a priest! The trip was wonderful but exhausting. We had 2 days at home and then did a 3 day retreat! It was rewarding but a lot of work; we were on the team presenting it and worked pretty hard. We hope to chill out a bit now.

My first class at Bead it! will be Wednesday afternoon- that is exciting too! I haven’t taught a class since the demise of beadniks in early May. Here is the pdf of the class if you want to see what it is about- the second class will happen in July. http://beaditcolorado.com/pdf/Artistic%20Metals_Get%20Connected_Class%20Flyer.pdf

I am going to start cutting and hammering some aluminum now for two guitar pick necklaces. I love how I can sell on Etsy when I am everywhere- all I need is the internet! http://www.etsy.com/listing/69349037/necklace-guitar-pick-aluminum

Just remember to breathe!

June 8th, 2011

I loves the flowers- 

It finally feels like summer; not just because of the sunburned shoulders I got this past weekend, but everything is really blooming after all the rain we got at the end of May. I am hoping to scope out the yard this afternoon and see what has cropped up. 

In an earlier post I mentioned all the planting my late Father-in-law did in our yard. We moved in 18 years ago this last week and it blows my mind when I look at pictures from when we first arrived here. Barren yard with rock, weeds and mud, peeling paint and overgrown trees. It is a garden now in the true sense of the word, but also a bit overwhelming. At least hubby shares the same affection for gardening and will get is whipped into shape for the season!

June 2nd, 2011

So excited! One of my wordy posts recently was about the demise of beadniks Denver- I was disappointed to say the least and was wondering if I would find another place to teach different jewelry techniques. Today I spoke with Laurel, the owner of Bead it! and her manager, Jessie. I am excited to say that  I will be starting soon as an instructor of three classes with more to follow.  

I will fill you in when I get a schedule going. We have to figure out class times and gather the rest of the supplies.

May 29th, 2011

So much food porn..

I follow quite a few Tumblogs where the person goes on a pastry/cake/cookie/pie photo spree. It is downright torture at times, but food is something we need every day. I understand why gorgeous food and drink are romanticized. As a struggling food addict, these pictures sometimes cause a bit of anguish. Maybe I should unfollow the person, but I still enjoy many of the other things they post. Also, most people with eating disorders seem to like to torture themselves, or at least this person does.

That leads up to these pictures- as a recovering food addict, doing this and the other cakes I have done lately is pretty much a binge in the making. I am really conflicted as I enjoy doing this and I love the people I bake for. However, I cannot do these cakes without triggering a binge, although I am better able to control myself than before. 

Last year in April, I threw away almost 8 years of abstinence- I am still struggling with that fateful decision to eat one of my addictive substances. The weight gain is not the only thing that gets me upset; obsession with weight, food and the up/down emotions that go along with being in the throes of addiction also stink. I pray that I can get back on track- this lapse has been hell.

There, I got that off my chest! Now I should go back to reading my book- Food Addiction, the Body Knows- this is what started my journey to be in control of my addiction; I can go back to that state if I want to do the work…

May 25th, 2011

Its a ring thing…

May 22nd, 2011

New meaning to the term- Found Object…

So the items pictured here were in the display cases at beadniks- sadly enough, they had to be rescued. I am sick at heart to say that the store has closed; another victim of the economy. I could say, what a crappy week, but really, it wasn’t as bad for me as what so many other people go through. I will miss having that fun place to hang out; one of the regulars likened it to Cheers with beads rather than beer!

I am not sure where I will teach, but if God wants, there is another place that would give me opportunities to share my love of creating. For now, I am organizing my workshop and supplies a bit and concocting a portfolio. I have tons of pictures, but have not put a sample of work together to show shop owners or community colleges yet.

It is sad and difficult, but I only have fond memories of that chapter in my life and am so grateful for the opportunities that teaching at beadniks afforded me. The best part is my friendship with Darlene Jones, the manager. She has been the greatest encourager a person could ask for and has really helped me to try new things and “stretch” myself creatively. I know that we will continue to work together and have a few ideas already!